I wrote this back in February and never got around to posting it. I’ll be trying to keep up with the blog at least once a week from now on so please stay tuned for more!
——————————————————————— :) Hey there! It’s a little late, but Happy New Year! I’m pretty sure we can all agree that 2018 kind of sucked. Somehow, the universe said “whatevs” and took a huge dump on humanity. But there’s always something to take away, so here are 3 things I learned this past year. 1.I am not alone. I don’t like asking for help, I want to do everything on my own because I have been so let down and taken advantage of by people I had trusted. Unfortunately, this carried over into not trusting those closest to me. For the longest time, I’ve felt alone and like no one would help me in the way that I needed. 2018 taught me otherwise. Family and friends became the center of my life throughout the many struggles that I encountered. It feels a little foolish now because they’re the ones that actually pulled through and offered help when I didn’t even ask. It’s a blessing that I am truly grateful for. 2. Keep going. Dear God did 2018 make me want to throw myself off of a building! Frustration, feeling lost, blind to the progress I’ve made mentally, and overwhelming sadness, it felt like it just wouldn’t stop. One thing after another made me feel so hopeless and like I would never be where I wanted to be both in my personal and professional life. I forced myself to keep going. As much as I didn’t want to be here, I pushed through so that everything I’ve worked for wasn’t meaningless. I’m glad I chose to stay. If I could say anything to you to help you through this same struggle, it would be SEE CLEARLY. Sadness and pain will blind you from the amazing potential that you have. Please don’t let it! YOU are worth more than you know. 3. Take a break. Personally, I’ll push myself past my breaking point to accomplish my goals. You know “Burning the candle at both ends.” I am my father's daughter in that way. I grew up watching him do the same and didn’t understand why. I get it now. I make promises that I can’t break because I’m a woman of my word. I put pressure on myself to succeed because I want to provide a good life for my son. I refuse to slow down because it feels like failure, but it’s not failure. If I don’t take some time to rest, I’ll burn myself out. Honestly, it’s not easy, but it is better than letting myself get exhausted to the point of losing who I am. Which has happened before and trust me; it’s not pretty. Through hard lessons and a lot of plain old crap, I’m learning how to take care of myself. It’s about damn time. I’m 28, you think I would have learned these things sooner. But alas, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou
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March 2020
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